swords & roughhousing? Hmm...

I have (thankfully) gotten to the point where I can give my reasoning for what I allow my kids or kids in my dayhome to do or not to do ( ie. taking risks etc), without getting defensive. Roughhousing, like risk-taking is a topic that's not always a popular thing. The concerns are always the same - kids getting hurt, and learning "how" to be violent. 

I will be the first to admit that a good amount of time is needed to allow kids to do just about anything, and when kids are energized to the max, getting them to come down can be oh so difficult. Essentially, I understand on many levels why people are uncomfortable with roughhousing and letting kids play with "weapons".

Anyways, the boys asked me a few weeks ago if we could make swords. This post would have been appropriate at the time as I was not into the idea of exposing other people's children to roughhousing (or) violent play.

I was even more torn over the whole topic of violence, and questioning the things that I do with other peoples' children etc etc. I went online and looked at the pros and cons...I liked this article. Eventually, I talked to them (the boys) about the importance of play, and when playing is not playing anymore (ie. hurting others), and I helped them make their swords.

And let's be honest, when a child has a toy sword, the first thing we think about is violence. But seriously...really? Let's get back to reality, any toy can be used as a "weapon". For instance, I cannot think of how many times my little Z pulled apart her brother's train tracks and hit him over the head or across the face...OK, I can, it was about 4 times, but that was enough for a lifetime. So, assuming that violent toys make kids violent? Well, that's a post for another day. 

For now, I want to affirm that I have some pretty awesome kids here. I am helping them navigate the world of playing. They are learning limits, and empathy too. They are becoming more aware of communicating with their peers. 

There are rules of course:

• the swords (specifically) can only be used outside - I let the boys put them away when we are finished with outside play
• never point or throw any object or toy in the face
• if someone gets hurt *accidentally or not, please STOP right away, and make sure they are okay
• we always use and listen for words like "i don't like that", "stop/no more" and "that hurts"
• and one great benefit of having smaller friends around? watching out for others always.

I think we have a pretty good system here...I don't think it works for everyone - we've had to figure out what works for our group. Oh, and we so do not give kids enough credit...they are so much smarter than we think.

Interestingly, my daughter Iman took it even further and did some story-telling/acting out with the boys this week, which I thought was awesome.They got to role-play, and release a lot of energy.
  
 I don't know what else to say...

 

sharing with country kids

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